Adam Hinz: The Blog
I'm ready, are you?
On 2008-02-27 at 2/27/2008 06:53:00 PM...
Kimya Dawson - SleepHere's how this post is going to go. I'll start off writing about how great college has been to me, how I feel like I had an all-around good 4-year experience, and how I have never been more ready than now to graduate and move on. After that, I'll transition into a pesky rant about my roommates. Hopefully I'll feel better after this. I hear it's not emotionally healthy to bottle things. Shaquille "Kazaam" O'Neal knows what I'm talking about.
But first, I'll lighten the mood with an idea I had last night:
"I wish I could hypnotize people. After hypnotizing someone, I would command them to hypnotize everybody else. Eventually we'll have a world of walking zombie people mindlessly wandering around."
I'm graduating this May1, and my whole attitude has changed since around Christmas break. Before Christmas, I absolutely loved school. I could see myself staying in academia, filling myself with interesting facts and knowledge for the rest of life. Sounds pretty great (minus the tuition). In that frame of thought, grad school seemed like the logical thing to do. I could keep on going to school and keep on living the college lifestyle.
Like I said, my attitude has changed. I feel like I have outgrown the life of a college student. I know longer feel the urge to drink until passing out. Playing games like beer pong and Kings bore me. I don't like to go to the bars unless they have a good pool table or the Big Ten Network.
I was completely conscious of the change in outlook. I've talked to one of my roommates about it, and he can relate. He went to school here, and then went home to help take care of his family. Now he's back in Bloomington working two jobs. He told me how strange it was to come back to Bloomington. He said it was almost as if nothing had changed; he just threw himself back into the life of college kids (to a lesser extent, mind you). He says my whole deal is can probably be attributed to reaching a new level of maturity. Great, exactly what I was afraid of.
The bottom line is that I am very much ready to graduate and start my real life. It's a bit weird. I used to be afraid of starting real life, but now I can't wait to complete this part. I'm not even afraid, either. I'm confident that I can find a good job in a great place. I'm not afraid of moving to some other part of the country and starting fresh. Actually, I'm very much looking forward to it. At the career fair a few weeks ago, a company representative asked how I felt about relocation. I said, "That's one of the reasons I'm talking to you in the first place."
I feel like a part of it is due my friends here. Everybody is still so involved with the college life. I absolutely do not hold it against them. As stated above, that used to be me. I'm just ready to move on, or at least channel my energy elsewhere. I think even my roommates contribute to a bit of it in part. I spoke with one earlier today, saying, "Hey, haven't seen you in a while. Seems like you spend all your time in your room. Are you feeling ok?" He responded with, "Oh, you know, sitting in my room playing video games, trying to figure out what to do with my life." How am I supposed to respond to that? I think I just walked away.
At this point, I was originally going to rant about how nobody in my house does anything about dirty dishes. We just bought a "new" dishwasher, but apparently it had gone unnoticed because of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink. I complained a bit to one of my roommates yesterday, and since then they've been cleaned. That was going to be my rant, but since I started writing this entry last night, it seems kind of pointless now. I'll just finish with the a thought I've written on here before: sometimes I feel like the mother of the house, and that sucks. That's another thing contributing to my urgency to graduate and move on/move out. I'm sure t here's a parable2 about this somewhere.
That's more than enough for one entry. Who wants to read my whining anyway?
1. Reminds me of a joke my Dad told me once. I was working on a vocab test for English class in elementary school, and I asked him what "dismay" meant. He told me, "Well, this May we're going to Atlanta, and next May we'll be staying home."
2. Reminds me of another joke my Dad told once. My little brother was working on a vocab test in elementary school, and he asked what a "parables" are. He said, "It's when you have a bowl here and another bowl here. It's a pair of bowls. Or, it's when you have Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen. You've got a pair of bulls."